HE has ISSUES!
I have been telling you all for as long as I can remember…
He WILL NOT-
He CANNOT-
He SIMPLY REFUSES-
to swim with anything covering his privates.
and when he looks up at me and says, "Parker's belly-button wants to swim."
I say, "Then let the belly-button swim."
These isn't much to add to this except hang in there through the first minute. He finds his groove after the sixty second mark. This baby that didn't talk for two solid years has found his voice and his words. He entertains us all daily with this song.
We had friends over today and McCall about started crying when she heard Parker belt this out. She convinced me it was worth sharing. So enjoy!
I was driving the five today, minding my own business when I started getting pelted in the back of the head by ritz crackers. I feel my anxiety spike and I take in two deep breaths before I adjust my rear view mirror. Our eyes meet and that's all it takes to send him over the edge of reason.
I could write this same story with a different object being thrown, in a different setting, but the characters are always the same… Parker and I.
This boy is tough.
This child is difficult.
He is hard as hell.
In my opinion we have more on our plate than just a two a year old. I think we are dealing with some emotional/mental issues.
It's been thirteen years since Hunter was this age and feel like I am doing him all over again. I have never cried more for a child than for my Hunter….. until I met my Parker.
I spend all day everyday trying to prevent the freak out. Parker runs this house. He runs this family. He runs me ragged. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I have done this "two" business so many times. I know what's typical and what is not. Parker is not typical.
I cry just writing it. I will deal with it. I will be fine. The family will be fine. It's Parker I shed the tears for. He is in a constant state of outrage. He wants to control his world and when it's not in order according to him, life becomes unbearable and he makes damn sure we know it.
His fits include throwing things, hitting things, hitting people, biting, running full speed into walls, furniture and people and sobbing for a VERY LONG TIME! He has ZERO self-soothing skills. His coping mechanisms are non-existent. He needs somebody to hold him and love him and soothe him through the meltdown otherwise it escalates and becomes out of control.
I know enough about parenting to understand the "rewarding bad behavior" or the "just giving him attention when he flips" and how that could be looked at from the outside. But if you lived here in this house with me and dealt with this child for any amount of time, you would understand that typical rules and parenting strategies work for typical children, not for Parker.
Today's melt downs include-
Ellie didn't want oreos she wanted goldfish. Parker didn't want her to have goldfish. He wanted her to have oreos.
Parker wanted the yellow bowl not the orange bowl.
Salsa not ketchup.
Ruffles not tortilla chips.
Ellie couldn't sit in Sailor's carseat.
He didn't want long pants he wanted short pants.
Pickle's bus came before Jayden's.
I didn't allow him to go out in the rain.
I wouldn't let him eat my carmex.
He's not allowed to play with poison.
Time for dinner.
no snack, we just ate.
Hunter spoke to him when he didn't want to be spoken to.
We pushed play on the DVD and didn't let it auto start.
There are hundreds of other things, some so ridiculous I can't even remember them. But these meltdowns all resulted in a FIT!
A FIT OF A LIFETIME!
He wears me out. I find myself tiptoeing around him. Always on the lookout. I try being proactive in preventing any issue, but it's the tiniest things that sends him through the roof.
There are times, I am too exhausted to deal with him, and try with all my might to just walk away. It's those times that someone gets hurt. It's usually Ellie. When it was Hunter doing this, Ty was the abused one. It's just so dang hard…..
I love this kid so much. I can feel his frustration. I can sense his outrage. I know him so well and I just want to take away the issues. I want him to have a joyful life not a pissed off frustrated one. Because in between all of this outrage is the greatest little guy in the world. He is fun and happy and hilarious and engaging and full of life and love. Until something snaps.
Hunter has had some incredible therapists in his life. The psychiatrist that works with Hunter now is hands down the most incredible Dr./human being I have ever worked with. When she first started treating Hunter, she told me I needed to send Brandon with Hunter for a few visits because "Hunter and I share a heart." What she meant and explained, was that Hunter and I feed off of each other. If I am up, he is too. If he is down, I come crashing right along with him and vice versa. Hunter has had me wrapped around his little finger from moment one. We share a bond that is so intricately knotted together, that I am not sure where I end and he begins. I tell you all of this only so you understand that Parker and I have become just as wrapped up.
Empathy is to blame. I get upset seeing Hunter upset. He gets upset knowing he has upset me. I feel terrible because I am making him feel badly. ….and it goes on and on and on. Besides the empathy, I think I walk that mental illness line really well. One day, I am sure I have something, the next day, I am sure I am normal. I think my family feels the same way about me and themselves.
Anyway,
Long story short. Parker is dealing with some shit in his little life. He is the only baby I have ever had that bawled all the way home from the hospital. Clearly he didn't like the rental car, or possibly the nurse put him in the left side of the car instead of the right…..
I am going to spend the rest of my life putting his pieces back together so he can and will be as happy as possible. Because I have walked this path before.
Bless his little heart.
YOU may be the death of me.
Love, Mommy
*********************************
Dear Parker-
Why won't you wear clothes anymore? I love to buy you clothes. You now refuse to wear them. EVERY SINGLE DAY you wear your ugly shoes from Old Navy and a size four huggies diaper. PERIOD. I have given up the fight. When you look back at the family pictures and wonder why you never had clothes on, I will happily share what a freakin' nightmare it was to dress you.
Today we had some errands to run and it required you to get out of the car and go into public places. This required you to be dressed. It took both dad and I fifteen minutes of coaxing to get your clothes on. If I didn't know you, I would read this and say, "Beat his ass and put his clothes on. He is two, you are thirty eight. Come on!!" But no, not you. YOU FREAK THE F OUT!! You were inconsolable. You acted like we were cutting off your extremities one by one. Can you say HYSTERICAL? Honestly, you are testing the limits of my sworn sobriety.
Love, your extremely frustrated mommy
*********************************************************
Dear Parker-
You are OCD. If things are not perfect in your little world, you turn completely upside down and ruin the lives of those around you. If your velcro straps are not straight on your shoes, you bawl like teenage girl.
If there is a crumb, or a hair, or a spec of anything floating in your tub, you scream like an old lady and shout, "POOP POOP POOP" until we locate said foreign object and remove it from the water.
If the faucet isn't straight, if the volume isn't perfect, if the lights are too low or too bright, or if somebody other than the person you had in mind attempts to talk to you, pick you up, or help you in way shape or form, you flip your ever livin' lid.
Parker, you are hard as hell. It's a good thing you are cute.
Love, your very exhausted mother
******************************************************
Dear Parker-
A little conversation for you to enjoy. This took place today between you and dad.
Dad- Do you want to read this book?
Parker- "no no no book."
Dad- "This one?"
Parker- "no no no one"
Dad- "Show me which book you want."
…and you show him, and you're happy, and as dad is carrying you back to the chair to read he says, "Parker you are so opinionated."
and you said, "no no no pin-ay-ted!"
Yeah right!!
You are obsessed with books, trash trucks, fire trucks, busses, and the moon. You love taking pictures and making cookie dough with dad. You love your little sisters… sometimes too much and too aggressively. You love the car and coming with me everywhere. but I think it's only because you get to see trash trucks. You love diet coke and sunchips. You love to cook. You love to CLEAN! Your love affair with the vacuum is disturbing. If there is a crumb on the floor, you have a wipe, the broom, or the vacuum, ready to go in an instant. You are a neat freak. I think it may be OCD. Time will tell.
You love music. Classical/Jazz is your favorite. You love to dance and have amazing rhythm. The music at the beginning of Monsters inc. is your favorite. We play it over and over. You are talking more everyday. You can name all the members of your family and the housekeepers. Speaking of the housekeepers, you LOVE them. You help them clean throughout the day. I think you may drive a trash truck or work as a janitor. At age two, those would be your dream jobs!
I love you Parker man. You are the hardest two year old I have ever had, but I think you may be the most charming two year old on the face of the earth. That charm… it allows you to live one more day… everyday.
Love, mommy
Since I think that very little is cuter than babies in a sink. I am going to let you all enjoy these two while I work on my next post.
Is this the cutest thing you have ever seen? He walked around taking pictures of everything…. with the camera facing the WRONG WAY!
This week in pictures is brought to you by Parker.
Mr. Smartypants, in true two-year-old fashion, thinks he can do anything I can do and wanted to prove it. He grabbed my camera from me the other day and took a dozen pictures.
I think I may have a budding photographer on my hands.
We may be on to something here…. maybe Parker can have his own cooking and photography section on this blog.
We have lived in this house for exactly five weeks and we are already moving kids around. This is a regular occurrence for this household, since the family dynamics are always shifting. Family members come and go, new babies arrive, sibling relationships change, and so do roommates.
Today's musical room game was not brought on by any of the above mentioned reasons. Today's juggle is courtesy of Parker and his new-found discovery of my bed. I have the world's most fabulous bed and Parker has discovered a weak link in his parents. I am usually so GOOD at crib training. At four months old I let the babies cry themselves to sleep and teach them very early on to stay in their bed all night long. I pride myself on fabulous sleepers that ALL go to their own bed and fall asleep on their own at bedtime! YAY me.
*
*
Until Parker came into my life…..
This kid is going to be the death of me! He gets away with MURDER, and all because he is SO. DAMN. CUTE. ( Not that my other kids weren't as cute, but they may not have been so charming.) We tuck all the kids in at seven on a school night. Parker snuggles down, has his red blanket, aka "red," under his arm, and his thumb in his mouth, and we walk out the door. He doesn't make a peep. We think he is asleep, BUT by 7:20, he is sitting between us. He doesn't pitch a fit, or even cry, he just climbs quietly out of his crib, opens his door, tiptoes out of his room, dragging "red", thumb still in mouth, and climbs right on up on the couch where we are sitting. Brandon usually says, "What are you doing out of bed?" To which Parker signs, "later." And we just think he is the cats meow, so we let him hang with us for a bit and re-tuck him in "later."
Have I mentioned lately how damn cute he is?
Anyway, the past few nights this is happening at 1 am, 2 am, 4 am…. You get where I am going with this? And we are simply too tired to haul his butt back to bed, so he just snuggles in between and goes to sleep. I love sleeping with babies. The more the merrier. When I married Brandon, that all changed. Brandon came to this family with a "no kids in his bed" rule. I married him anyway. I told you all I made sacrifices, that was the ONE.
So Brandon is softening and Parker is gaining power over us very quickly.
In an effort to make Brandon's life easier, we are moving Parker into the nursery. It is attached to our room with it's own private staircase. He is going to join Ellie up there, and maybe that alone will make him think twice about leaving his crib. He will now, for the first time in his life, have a roommate.
This could end up being the biggest waste of time, or the best decision of our lives. I am not sure yet. But for now, I am off to move his crib down one flight of stairs and up another. If this move is a success, and Parker and Ellie share well together, and Parker stays in his crib, then I will probably move Ellie to Parker's room. Or, I may move Kate and Jazzi to that room and give Pickle her own room….. So many possibilities.
Stay tuned for more musical rooms as we still try and find the right place for everything and everyone in the new house.
After this morning's shuffle, this is the room situation.
Bronson and Hunter
Hadley
Jayden, Colby, and Jace
Jazzi, Kate, and Pickle
Empty room
Dalin and TY
Ellie and Parker in the nursery
Sailor Grace has fifteen more days of "up all night long, bottles when she wants them, half the night on her mom's chest because mom is too exhausted to walk ten feet to her crib," cushy life. AND then, we endure 4 days of hell, horror, and "thank God she is the last one," awful nights. But she will will come out knowing how to sleep all night long and will move upstairs to the nursery with her fellow siblings.
Parker has never had so much fun. You all know how he likes to clean, well this packing stuff falls right in line. He may be a little OCD. This video is a mere 13 seconds long, but you get the idea. Parker and Pickle packed seven boxes of books. We are packing up and getting ready to move. It’s going very well with all the live-in help I have….. And you all thought I was nuts to have so many…. You can’t imagine how much I am saving doing this packing myself!
I may adopt a few more.
I could save myself even more time and money.