Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

08
Mar

divorced parents, a terrifying accident, or poop in the tub?

Posted by Sandi in Hunter, My kids

Last night we took a few kids and my dad out for some sushi, or in my case, a salad, and a movie.  We saw Alice In Wonderland.  Not the best movie I have seen, but it was an enjoyable evening none the less.  

On the ride down the street Hunter was recalling one of his worst memories of living here in California.  It was the typical "remember when" chit chat and Hunter chose to "remember when" the sewer backed up and filled our bathtub.  He recalled the floating poop and toilet paper in the sewer water and Brandon wading through it with a bucket and roto-rooter at our house till after midnight…. It was a memory that I would never choose to recall.  I clearly pushed that one deep in my mind, but Hunter seemed to remember every stinking detail of the entire evening.  Kids are extremely weird that way, add poop to any occasion and the memory will be firmly stuck in their minds for the rest of eternity.

After the movie, we were loading the car and Bronson shut his seat belt in the door and couldn't re-open the door to fix it.  I had his door child-locked because I had taken Pickle with me earlier that day to pick up Hadley from school.  My dad was curious about this child-lock thing and found it fascinating that I could enable or disable the child-lock feature at will.  I reminded him of the time that  I ran over Ty with the car (that is a post for another time, or not,  since I like to forget it ever happened.) and explained why I always engaged the child-lock whenever Pickle was a passenger.  

Hunter piped up from the back seat.  "That (running over Ty) was one of the most disturbing things that has ever happened."

I said, "Oh Hunter man, I am so sorry,  That must have been awful for you to witness as such a little guy.  I feel terrible that you were there.  You had a hell of a childhood.  Between that and your parents getting divorced, its a wonder you turned out okay."

Hunter's respond to that, "Honestly, the poop in the tub was worse than anything."

…. We laughed till our guts hurt.  If that right there doesn't show the resilience of kids….

I stew and stress and worry constantly about the things my kids will have to deal with and the scary world we live in and whether or not they are going to turn out okay living in this day and age….  And the worst effing thing that has ever happened to Hunter is to watch poop shoot out the tub drain?  I think my kids may be worse off than I ever imagined!  

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02
Dec

nap addict

Posted by Sandi in Hunter

IMG_0611 

In an attempt to wean himself from his outrageous napping habit, Hunter refused to enter his bedroom after school.  He sat on this chair for a few hours doing homework and playing on facebook.  Around 4:15 I noticed he had a sheet and a pillow.  WTF?  Who sits in a chair with a sheet?  It was 4:22 when I looked at him again and this is what I found!  He slept sitting straight up in this chair in the middle of our chaotic house for 90 minutes.  I think he should just embrace his afternoon nap.  I am as jealous as hell!  

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12
Oct

HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY HUNTER

Posted by Sandi in Hunter, birthday

 

 

Hunter man,

It’s Sunday afternoon and you are at Jason’s house hanging out. (That shout out was for you Jason!)  Tomorrow, your actual birthday, will be crazy with excitement with your new sibling arriving, but I don’t want that to take away from your special day.  I wish you were here now to help me with this letter because you have turned into an amazing writer and I want your feedback. I don’t want to embarrass you by writing something that isn’t factual.   I have been trying to write this birthday letter for a few days, but you are always busy doing something or gone. So, without your help, I will do my best to remember all the things you have taught me this week. 

Without you my life would be seriously incomplete.  I wouldn’t be nearly as smart as I am.  You have forced me to think about the WORLD and not just my little universe.  I haven’t had to watch the news in years because you are my source of current and historical events.  I get a dose every single morning taking you to school. 

Without you I wouldn’t ever think about Che Guevara. Nor would I even know who in the Hell the man was.  I know a little about everything now, well, just kidding, but I am getting better at processing the information you feed me.  I am learning about every horrible dictator that ever ruled.  I am learning about Native Americans, and why we should hate Cortez as much as we hate Hitler, and why we no longer need to fear the Large Hadron Collider. I have learned way more than I ever thought possible about politics and foreign policy. I am learning things about bio-physics and religion, and just this week learned that Jupiter has 63 moons and watched you try and wrap your brain around the concept of what that would do to our tides.  

Thanks to you, I never have to debate with Brandon. You will always banter on my behalf. You are a debater at heart.  You told me this week that the Bible is an opinion and can’t be used as fact in a debate. Not sure I will ever need the bible to back me up, but I love that you shared it with me.  You are like my own personal snapple bottle.  There is always a fact popping out of you. 

I love hearing about your antics at school. You make me SO PROUD when you stand up for what you believe in.  I will always have your back Hunter.  If you are passionate about something, go for it, believe in it, and stand for it.   

I know I can’t give you my usual speech about following your heart and trusting your gut in all things, because you will respond with something like, "You want my endocrine system to make my decisions? No thanks mom. My brain is smarter than that." 

Since you are ten times smarter than I am, I can’t offer you words of wisdom.  All I can tell you is that I am glad you are my son.  I am proud of you and the choices you have made.  I know you will have a bright and happy future.  You can be anything you want to be and do anything you want to do.  Follow your dreams, (not literally) shoot for the stars, (please don’t or the bullet will fall out of the sky and into your head) and NEVER stop believing in yourself!  I am so proud to be your mom. Thanks for sharing a tiny part of your life with me.  I love you more than DIET COKE and my life and everything in it!  But for your literal brain…. I love you more than all the atoms in the universe.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNTER MAN!  YOU ARE THE BEST FIFTEEN YEAR OLD I HAVE EVER MET! 

PS- Thank you for sharing your birthday with a sibling.  You are the perfect kid to share with.  

16 Comments »
26
Jun

sex talk(s)

Posted by Sandi in Hunter, daily smut

I have shared with you all how crazy my week has been.  Let’s just say, what I have shared is the tip of the iceburg.  I won’t bore you with all the trivial details, but I did get to have THE SEX TALK with Jayden.  

It went fabulous, I have nothing about our private conversation to share except that he was amazingly receptive and engaging and I truly enjoyed every moment.  

When I came out of his room, I was jumped by Shaylee, Hunter, and Hadley.  

"What did you say?"

"What did he do?"

and the best one of all, "YOU NEVER GAVE US THE SEX TALK!"

WHAT?  

"I never sat you down and gave you THE talk?" 

They all responded, "NOPE."

I texted Bronson right then and there.

"Did I ever give you a sex talk?"

"No."

"Did your father?"

"No."

"ummm, do you have any questions now that I can answer for you?"

"No."

So I went back to Hunter, Hadley and Shaylee and continued to grill them on the shitty mother that raised them. I had always prided myself on being totally open and talking about sex with my kids.  My friends would even joke that they were sending their kids to me to have the talk.  So how on earth was it possible that I skipped my first four kids?

Finally one of them, I wish I could remember who, said, "mom you never stop talking about sex to us.  You have been talking to us about it since before I can remember.  We just never got the actual sit down, with a diet coke, "sex talk."  

Whew. I seriously thought I had failed there for a minute, and in the one department I was so good at.  

**********************************

 

Hunter came over and sat down next me.

"Do guys have pheromones ?"

"I don’t know, why?" 

"I just think it’s cool that girls do, and while Shaylee is home this summer, you will both start your periods at the same time."

I marvel at the things this child spends his time educating himself on. I agreed that it was cool, and further explained that it would be my body shifting to Shaylee’s schedule since her cycle was being controlled by birth control and mine was not.  

He sat and thought about it for a minute and said, "I am glad guys don’t do that.  It would suck pretty bad if there was a room full of guys and someone popped a boner and then everyone else did too."  

 

I freakin’ love that kid

 

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