Lucky Thirteen and Counting

Now comes the Hell……I have been on Facebook for awhile now.  I have been there for parenting purposes only and when I tried to have and maintain an old male friend from my past, Hell, fire and damnation ensued.  Brandon decided to give me a taste of my own medicine. He quickly opened his Facebook account and found and added many friends.  FINE!  I didn’t care.  I cautioned him to be smart and careful.  But I wasn’t going to give him the grief that he felt he could give me.  Well, I am not trying to air Brandon’s dirty laundry,  I have enough of my own to keep this blog alive and kicking,  But I have to share this for the story to make sense.  

He got a little carried away and decided he could have friends if I had friends.  So he opened up a secret email account, and tracked down a woman from his past life he had met through chat rooms, and proceeded to email her and chit-chat back and forth.  WHY?  Because he thought I was doing it he claims.    

“HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMEN’S SCORN”  Brandon will testify to this.  I will edit a wee bit of this story now in case you all think I have no business being a mother to small children.  I would hate for one of you to call CPS because I am out of control. 

We had been to church that day for the second time in a year.  We were new to Ladera Ranch and the Mormons here were normal and pretty cool.  I thought we could give it a try and see if church could/would be something I was willing to add to my life.   This happened in the middle of the summer so my big kids were home and the seven computers in the family room had to be shared even more than usual.  Bronson was on my computer, so I sat down on Brandon’s.  I wiggled the mouse and brought the screen to life.  4benson at gmail dot com.  This was not an email I recognized.   What the ‘F’?

I start quizzing kids.  ”Which one of you has been on this computer?”  They all stare blankly at me.  I ask louder…”WHICH ONE OF YOU HAS BEEN ON THIS COMPUTER?”  I have their attention now.  They all start saying “NOT ME.”  Of course it isn’t them.  None of them are Benson’s.  I open up the email and find a Mandi Munchkin emailing Brandon.  I will say this, a woman knows in her heart of hearts when her man is up to NO effing good.  I had had a sick feeling all day and at that moment the passion in me turned to RAGE!  I started flipping out and running around the house looking for Brandon.   The entire thing ended up in a fist throwing (mine only) frenzy.  HELL HATH NO FURY!  

Well, that was quite some time ago.  I haven’t been back to church since. Look how much good going to church that day brought me.  Then again,  I think it may have brought me good.  I busted the little email fling/conversation that was going on pretty quickly.  But, Brandon is the churchy one in the family so I may just be punishing him by refusing to join him in Sunday school after his last shenanigan.    

Ok, now back to the present day.  Brandon has no Facebook, I have one for parenting.  I keep in touch with Bronson and Shay via Facebook often.  We settled the drama that happened in the summer and he vowed to never ever again open an email account I didn’t know about.  He promised he wouldn’t be chatting with people I didn’t know.  THANK YOU!

So last night Brandon comes into the family room to find me grinning like an idiot and chatting with a very old friend from my past,  a male friend no less!  Can you say dead meat? Or how about hypocrite? I try and justify away that this very incredible person I am talking to, has been my best friend since 5th grade.  DW and I go back so far we were learning times tables together. I haven’t seen or talked to him for twenty years and I was very happily catching up! DW and I spent our entire 5th and 6th grade on the phone and passing notes and bounding through the last few years of childhood as best buddies.  It didn’t matter, Brandon was not impressed with me, him or the fact that I was going against every rule I had ever laid down.     DAMN! Sometimes even my rules suck!

Do you know the divorce rate for second marriages is 64%.  I can tell you why.  When you come to a second marriage you know how extremely fragile a union is.  Even if you never want to go through a divorce again,  you now know how easy they are to get.  Things that break up second marriages are things we all bring to second marriages, distrust, other peoples children and ghosts from the past.  

I would have never cared a single bit in my first marriage if the ex had been chatting with high school friends.  I would have never thought twice about him leaving me for somebody else, or even cared.  In this marriage.  I feel like I need to lock Brandon up in a bubble and never allow him to leave the house.  Once someone finds out what a catch he is they will snatch him right out of this family just like I did to him.  Come on, if I am capable of stealing him, anyone is. 

These are the thoughts you have and bring to second marriages.  If I cheated before, I will do it again.  If he cheated before he will do it again.  He is a leaver,  I am a ass-kicker out of the houser.  

So my short love affair with DW is over.  I have to keep my chit chats in full view.  If any of you out there are trying to steal my heart, Brandon wants me to warn you all what it costs to support me and this crew.  None of you will even dare think about me!