Just when things began to get under control in my life, our crazy neighbor, the one that wanted to run Warren G out of our neighborhood, and the one that screamed at Brandon about my "No on Eight" signs on my car, because "it’s Sodomy for God’s sake!" Yeah him, the one that is right next door to me…..
He came after Brandon tonight with fists flying, screaming at him, calling him a fucking idiot, all in front of our kids.
I was in the kitchen dishing up dinner when the doorbell rang. Brandon answered the door and I heard him say, in his pleasant, Ned Flanders, voice, "Hi neighbor." So I figured all was fine. Two minutes later, Jazzi, Kate, and Ty entered the kitchen to tell me the neighbors were being mean. I hear this kind of crap all the time, so I am still dishing up dinner and listening half heartedly. I say, "whose being mean?"
Jazzi said, "A grown up. He called dad a fucking idiot."
She had my undivided attention now!!! I left the dinner sitting on the counter and ran out the front door. Bronson, Shaylee, and a few other kids were standing outside watching our neighbor telling Brandon that he was going to "fuck him up." another neighbor couple joined the scene and attempted to calm the situation down. instead, crazy neighbor man called on nice neighbor man.
Things were getting exciting now.
Brandon is as cool as a cucumber. He just turned and walked away and that pissed off crazy neighbor even more.
We went in the house with all the kids and discussed the bad words and rotten behavior that they had witnessed in an adult. Brandon explained that what the neighbor had done was against the law. You may not threaten physical harm to anyone. We turned in into a life lesson and talked about the proper way to handle disputes, whether they are with siblings, or friends, or neighbors. Swearing, swinging, and threatening are NEVER okay. We emphasized it all by reporting the crazy man next door to the COPS. The kids loved that.
I hope we taught more than just our children a thing or two.
We will not be next door neighbors for much longer, but we have had three run ins with him in the two years we have been here. The guy who owns this house, Dave, got into it with him a year ago in LAX. Crazy neighbor approached him to tell him that he had ruined the neighborhood by leasing this home to us. Dave said, "What are you talking about? every person I have talked to around you loves The Bensons."
Crazy neighbor said, "You want to take this outside or in the ring?"
Dave was like, Holy shit dude you are a wack job! (I’m paraphrasing)
My best guess about how all of this started, was when we first moved in, we allowed our children to play with the Warren G kids.
The crazy neighbor ran right over to make sure I knew that those kids were trouble. I immediately get mama bear and think he is being prejudiced, and tell him, thank you for the concern, but I will decide who my children may or may not play with.
About a month later, Warren was arrested in LA over something, and the only reason I know is because in my mail box, is the TMZ report printed out and left for me. I was pissed! Who in the hell cares if Warren is partying in LA. His professional and party life do not have anything to do with his children playing with mine. The report in my mailbox crossed the line in my book and bordered on Mrs Kravitz.
Since he got nowhere with me, he approached Brandon, during the same week, to see if he would be more receptive. He told Brandon that Warren was no good and we shouldn’t engage with him at all. He told Brandon that Warren was a gang member, to which Brandon responded, "I am glad he has friends."
Crazy neighbor was unimpressed with us! He screamed and yelled at Brandon in our driveway about being irresponsible and being bad parents.
And since that day, almost two years ago, he has despised us.
My prop eight rant is posted here if you missed it.
And tonight’s fight was over my children riding their bikes in a rut on his grass where his wife backed over the lawn. According to him, my kids made it deeper and wider than his wife’s tire did. and if Brandon doesn’t fix it or pay for it, he will "fuck him up."
Saddest part of the evening- His little girl, maybe a ten year-old, was outside watching the entire thing and kept saying, "Please stop Daddy." at one point when he was swinging his arms and coming after Brandon, she jumped in front of him, begging him to stop, and he picked her up and sat her down behind him.
My heart aches for this guy’s wife and kids. If he comes that unglued over a little mud, I can’t imagine what he must do behind closed doors.
Best part of the evening- After he called me a fucking idiot, he told me he reads my blog!!
Hi Pat. I hope you get the help you need for your anger management issues.
Any of you readers interested in moving in here? We will be out by Tuesday.
