I have shared with you all how crazy my week has been. Let’s just say, what I have shared is the tip of the iceburg. I won’t bore you with all the trivial details, but I did get to have THE SEX TALK with Jayden.
It went fabulous, I have nothing about our private conversation to share except that he was amazingly receptive and engaging and I truly enjoyed every moment.
When I came out of his room, I was jumped by Shaylee, Hunter, and Hadley.
"What did you say?"
"What did he do?"
and the best one of all, "YOU NEVER GAVE US THE SEX TALK!"
WHAT?
"I never sat you down and gave you THE talk?"
They all responded, "NOPE."
I texted Bronson right then and there.
"Did I ever give you a sex talk?"
"No."
"Did your father?"
"No."
"ummm, do you have any questions now that I can answer for you?"
"No."
So I went back to Hunter, Hadley and Shaylee and continued to grill them on the shitty mother that raised them. I had always prided myself on being totally open and talking about sex with my kids. My friends would even joke that they were sending their kids to me to have the talk. So how on earth was it possible that I skipped my first four kids?
Finally one of them, I wish I could remember who, said, "mom you never stop talking about sex to us. You have been talking to us about it since before I can remember. We just never got the actual sit down, with a diet coke, "sex talk."
Whew. I seriously thought I had failed there for a minute, and in the one department I was so good at.
**********************************
Hunter came over and sat down next me.
"Do guys have pheromones ?"
"I don’t know, why?"
"I just think it’s cool that girls do, and while Shaylee is home this summer, you will both start your periods at the same time."
I marvel at the things this child spends his time educating himself on. I agreed that it was cool, and further explained that it would be my body shifting to Shaylee’s schedule since her cycle was being controlled by birth control and mine was not.
He sat and thought about it for a minute and said, "I am glad guys don’t do that. It would suck pretty bad if there was a room full of guys and someone popped a boner and then everyone else did too."
I freakin’ love that kid
HAHA! That last line from Hunter made me laugh out loud! HE makes a pretty good point though! Can you imagine?!
Fabulous. Great laugh for my Friday!
The sex talk is a difficult one…I have one down…two more to go!
THAT was hilarious!!!
Oh my God, Hunter is quite possibly the most hilarious kid in the universe. That is priceless!
Oh Hunter that is hilarious! He made me laugh out loud with that one as I pictured a visual of that.
Kids are never boring, I’ll give them that!
My mom then went on to say “they probably do, but they just don’t tell each other about it” (about the guys with boners)
That has been a question that has bothered me forever! haha
Kids are geniuses, I swear!
Hunter, I think your mom is probably right. Guys WOULD do that together, they just might not talk about it. Unless it was to brag.
HA! That’s hilarious – thx for the friday laugh. And please, tell me how to do The Talk. My oldest is 8 and a boy, and so we’ve never had to do this before. We’re both comfortable, but clueless on how much to tell, at what age. Though, there have been some internet no-no’s perpetrated by a neighbor, so I think The Talk should come sooner rather than later.
Ha! What a hoot.
My “sex talk” with my mother (237 years ago) went something like this…
Me: Hey Mom, I got invited to the Prom!!!
Mom: Does that mean you want to go on The Pill?
Me: No, it means I want to go to the mall and buy a dress.
That was the sum total of my “talk”
Goodness!! Too damn funny.
Brace yourself, Girl because I have a feeling that your girls will be ready to ask questions even more than the boys. Married Boo was 8 when we had that talk. We had no other choice but to sit down with her because she was asking so many questions.
By the way, we’ve got that taken care of and it’s all okay (per our phone conversation).
Hunter is too much! His mind must race a million miles an hour all the time!
Glad that Jayden handled the talk well.Will you be giving any of the others “the talk” soon?
I’m going to be soliciting your advice in a couple of years… you seem to handle this subject perfectly.
I laughed so hard I cried when I read what Hunter said! I am still laughing!!!!!
Such a perceptive boy, that Hunter
I love reading about the relationship you have with your kiddos. What a blessing you all are to each other!
And that’s why I love it here!
Seriously I have no clue where kids come up with stuff! Love them!!!!!
I can easily picture my oldest giving that “Hunter Question” to me!
Keep it coming because honey, I can use all the help I can get!!!!!
That’s awesome – I’m taking notes for my own kids
oh my God I just laughed out loud. OUT LOUD!!!!
God that was funny.
Ah. He has a serious point there.
Smart kids!! Too funny!
Love it! I remember when my mother tried to give me the sex talk–I was like, “Eeeewwwww!” I’d rather learn that stuff from my friends.
Too funny! Reminds me of what my 7 year old son says when he hears about the period. He says he’s sooo glad he’s not a girl. Says “blood down there and a baby being cut out, no thank you!!” lol! (he seems to forget that not all babies are c-section babies, haha!
OMG that was hilarious!!!!
Dude. If my parents had sat me down to have the sex talk I would have run screaming off the nearest cliff.
Of course, my mother feels that vibrators are battery operated tools of the devil, so…ya know.
Hehehehehe!
I’m with Loralee. I think I would have wanted to crawl into the nearest hole if my mother had dared sit me down to have “The talk”.
I think talking about it openly and routinely like it is an everyday thing, and nothing to be embarrassed about is definitely the best way to go.
Your kids are just hilarious. It must literally be a laugh a minute in your house ;o)
I just have to chime in. A few weeks ago, I started hearing about phermones – (and perfumes
with phermones in them) is it pheromones?
I can’t remember – all I know is that it opened
up a whole new world to me. Worth googling, if
you aren’t up on the phermones, and I am still
shaking my head about the concept, let alone the
reality.
I’m speechless. That is SO FUNNY!
Hilarious!! Thanks for making me laugh!
oh my gosh that had me laughing out loud!