May « 2009 « Lucky Thirteen and Counting

Archive for May, 2009

30 May

Watching

Posted by Sandi in Bronson, family

Watching my baby be recognized for his outstanding achievements over the last four years was one of my proudest moments.

Watching him pack up his room.

Watching him embrace all of his friends and teachers for the last time.

Watching him say his heartfelt good-byes.

Watching him smoke his graduation cigar.

Watching him get out of his school clothes and put on his Tulane T-shirt. (There was no denying the symbolism)

Watching him hug us good-bye.

and off he goes....

Feeling his arms around me and then watching him walk away.

Watching as he leaves.

I can feel the tug of my heart being pulled a little further than it’s used to. He’s been in Asheville for four years, but he was still a child, still required a mother even if he didn’t need one. Now….. there is no requirement and I know it. He is an adult. He can go and do as he pleases. He may never come home. My heart is breaking, or is it growing? It’s feeling the tug. It’s feeling the stretch, and I need to adjust to this new sensation. With tears I write. I know he has places to go and things to see. But i wasn’t ready to let go. I wasn’t ready to be done with him. Eighteen years went so fast.

However, I am bursting at the seams with pride. I want to shout from the rooftops that Bronson is my son. He is my baby. He always will be. But today there is an undeniable change. It’s tangible. I’ve done my part mothering, now I just get to be his friend.

Good-bye baby.

Please remember me.

Bronson and mommy

21 Comments »

30 May

Congrats baby boy! You make me so happy!

Posted by Sandi in Bronson, My kids

My baby and I

Lindsy, Derin, Bronson, Sandi, Brandon

Bronson and Brandon My two favorite men!

Celebratory Cigar

I love this kid so freakin' much!

17 Comments »

30 May

Week in Pictures

Posted by Sandi in week in Pictures

Hadley

Jace

Dalin

Jayden

lovin' the lighting. I look good like this.

Jayden

Kate

Jazzi

kitties

Parker and Hadley

Parker and Kate

Kate

Tang and Calvin

The Garden of Eden

8 Comments »

29 May

directions are merely suggestions

Posted by Sandi in daily smut, getting old

WARNING- RATED TMI

Are you all tired of hearing me bitch about getting old? Too damn bad. I hate it.

Brandon gave me a little treatment the other night while I was in the tub. It was a derma-scrape. What? You’ve never heard of that? Fine, I’ll call it what it is, “A shave.” Yes, you heard me correctly. It wasn’t anywhere fun either. (remember I got that fun area all zapped off). I made Brandon shave my face. I am growing a full on beard. Is this NORMAL?

I’ve been spending more time waxing and tweezing than anything else. I am full on obsessed about this fluff on my face. Just so you can have a good visual, I am not growing whiskers. There is nothing course, or dark, coming out of my cheeks, but the amount of downy fine air is thickening to winter coat proportions. It’s blowing in the wind and it’s preventing my makeup from reaching my actual skin. I was desperate people. I threw back a glass of wine, grabbed the shaving cream, and hollered for Brandon. When I woke up the next morning, my face felt like Ellie’s butt, baby soft and kissable. I can’t keep my hands off my cheeks. I’m sure I will experience a full on breakout by the time I get to Asheville.

I have been self medicating through this aging shit. I have been trying to turn back the hands of time with my magic progesterone cream. It’s not having the effects I was hoping it would have, but I do know that it’s doing something.

When I ordered the first box, I was in Utah and desperate to feel good. I wanted to look, and feel, like a 30 year old and not feel like I’m pushing 38. Is this really how 38 feels, or is this how being the mother of 14 feels? Either way, I want to feel young, sexy, and energetic. So I did what any desperate person would do in my shoes, I googled the quick fix.

The good old internet told me I was pre-menopausal and I would feel young, and rejuvenated, with a twice a day dose of progesterone cream. I added that to my online cart and had it overnighted to Utah. I started using it immediately and noticed two things right away; my crotch was wetter, and I slept like a baby. (just now, as I write this, its dawning on me that maybe my crotch was wetter because while I was sleeping like a baby Brandon was having his way with me. I’ll ask him about that when I’m done here.) Those were two things I was happy about. Sleep equals refreshed and rejuvenated, and a wet crotch can only mean good things are about to come.

When we returned from Utah I did so without the box of directions that my cream had come in. Oh well, how hard was it to remember twice a day. I had ordered a month supply, so I just ran out last week and reordered more. When it arrived, I actually read the insert and was shocked to learn that I should only be using the cream the last 14 days of my cycle. Not twice a day everyday all month long. My bad.

So I stopped on day one of my cycle. By day two, I was contemplating divorce. By day three I was up all night long with insomnia and my crotch was so dry I couldn’t even remove my tampon. By day five I hated my children and took up drinking.

Yesterday, Brandon sat at the pool with me and nicely told me that he likes me better on the cream all month long. I have to agree with him. I came home from the pool and rubbed a double dose all over my body, this morning I applied it liberally, and packed it in my suitcase. I am feeling nicer already. Now is not the time to feel old, tired, or pissy. My baby is graduating and I get to spend the weekend with my ex and The Nanny. Taking up a wee bit of drinking may have been the best thing that came out of this life lesson.

I’m hoping that, by next month, my magic cream has fixed the fat roll on my gut and miraculously erased my whiskers. You never know.

*P.S. This was written at cruising altitude of 38,000 feet. It may have affected my judgement.

20 Comments »

29 May

Friday Flashback 2007

Posted by Sandi in My kids, Random

I found this picture while I was pulling up Jasmine’s birthday post.

It’s an absolute classic that needs to shared with the internet.

My bio’s on the scariest ride in California.

Hunter, Shaylee, Hadley and Bronson

I can’t wait to go back this summer.

7 Comments »

28 May

At eight months

Posted by Sandi in Ellie, My kids

More for me than anybody. I am getting bad in my old age at remembering important things. I thought I should use this blog for good reason. Ellie Brooke

At the lovely age of eight months old

You have no teeth yet, but eat everything.

You still drink 6 ounces of Enfamil every four hours.

You sleep through the night. 7pm-6am.

You take two good naps per day.

You crawl everywhere.

You pull to stand in the crib, and you are trying to do it on the couch.

You sit up without help.

You can get from crawl to sit and from sit to crawl.

You babble like a maniac. I am sure you will pass Parker up in the vocab department.

You hate nothing more than having your hair messed with.

You love the animals.

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!

16 Comments »

28 May

You can count

Posted by Sandi in family, large families

I received an email last night from a reader asking me if she was crazy, or didn’t know how to count.

You see, my numbers weren’t adding up for her. She said, “In a number of posts you say, when you met Brandon that you had thirteen kids, but you have also mentioned that you and Brandon share three. How is this possible?”

I figure, she may not be the only confused reader out there. Since I am getting a lot of newbies each week, this may be a good time to explain my numbers.

I did have thirteen kids when I met Brandon. I do share three with Brandon. This is how it happened.

My ex and I had never finalized Pickle’s adoption. When we divorced he purposely left Pickle to me. He didn’t feel it would have been fair to her, or in her best interest, to go back and forth for visitation. Because of her special needs, he let me have her. I had planned on adopting her as a single parent, but Brandon moved in, fell in love, and adopted her right along with me. He got Pickle and I together.

I had a beautiful daughter Embree that was four when her daddy and I divorced. Even though I had sole custody, I swore I would let the kids go with whoever they wanted to live with. The deal with the kids was that we wouldn’t allow them to go back and forth If they jumped houses, they did it for a solid year, no moving in and out. So when my ex married the nanny, Embree moved in permanently. She never came back. You can read more about her story here.

My Lucky Thirteen in 2003

So in 2007, I only had 12 kids. Parker is number 13. Ellie is number 14.

The title of the blog can also be confusing. In 2004, I took a few months off of work to write. I wrote a book titled “Lucky Thirteen.” After it had been edited, and was ready to be sent to publishers, my life unraveled at the seams and I never had it published. It was a story, much like this blog, about my journey through life and the stories of my beautiful children. I loved my book and was heartbroken it never saw publication. When I started blogging last year, I couldn’t name the blog anything else. “Lucky Thirteen” is just us. When Ellie came along, I added “and Counting” I figure that allows me to have as many as I want without changing the name.

Just this past few months, I have had people asking to read my manuscript. I was willing to send it to a few of my readers. I went to get it out of my box of treasures, and it wasn’t in there. I have since torn this entire house apart trying to find it. It’s gone. It was written on an old PC that is in my garage. When I borrowed a monitor and keyboard to get it printed, I couldn’t remember the password. I guess it isn’t meant to be. It time to write a new story anyway. I think the old one would be too sad to go through again. It would be a lot like watching “Cheaper by the Dozen.” I just can’t bring myself to do it, it’s too painful.

My Lucky Thirteen in 2007

I hope all of this rambling helps you understand the title of the blog, the number of kids and how we added them up.

11 Comments »

27 May

Happy 7th Birthday Jasmine Hope

Posted by Sandi in Jasmine, birthday

Jasmine Hope

Dear Jazzi-

We have been on the count down to your birthday for weeks. Everyday you have been telling me what you want to do for your birthday, and everyday your plans have changed. This is typical you.

Yesterday you told me about the Ice Cream store that you and Dalin are going to open when you are “big.” You want to sell gingerbread houses at the store. Dalin will sell the ice cream. You both sat at my feet and tried to come up with names. I wanted you to name it “I scream U scream” or “Chocolate and Vanilla’s Shoppe” You didn’t like either one. You wanted “Gingerbread Ice Cream store.” Dalin isn’t sure he wants you to be a partner at this point.

You have been the greatest accidental treasure in this family. Do you know why I call you that? Because I thought I was done adopting babies, and you accidentally skipped right on in. I was just going to ‘keep my eye on you’ for a few weeks and I fell in love with you. I wanted to keep you so bad that I prayed every night that time would stop so I could have you as long as I wanted. My prayers came true. Time didn’t stop, but I got to keep you. I am a lucky mommy.

You were the best baby and you are the best girl. You are so smart and so sweet. You have the BEST imagination I have ever seen. I love the way you think. I bet your brain is full of sparkles, and rainbows, and colors galore.

I love the way you plan your whole life. I used to do that when I was little too. I used to imagine all the babies I would have and what my house would look like. I love that you do that too. Right now, you are telling me that you are going to live right here in “Dara Ranch” and you are going to wear aprons and make salad for lunch everyday. You told me I could come over and eat with you any time I wanted. I can’t wait!

I can’t wait to see what we end up doing today. I hope we get to go to lunch and have a pedicure. But we will probably end up at Chuck E Cheese. I heard you tell Dalin that’s where we were going. What are you going to buy for your birthday? You have everything!! Maybe we can get you some new Dance stuff so you don’t have to share your pink leotard with Kate. You hate when she wants to wear the pink one. Let’s get you your very own.

I bet you are excited for Bronson and Shaylee to come home. You love to have new people here to tell all about your big ideas and plans, and I know they love to listen. I heard you talking to Pickle and telling her very nice things the other day. Thank you for being so sweet to her. I know she loves to terrorize you. Do you know why she comes after you and not Kate? She knows you are too sweet to bop her back. Kate grabs her and holds her, but you don’t, you run away and she loves to chase you. It made me so happy to peek outside and see you both playing together. I KNOW pickle loved to hear your stories.

You are a sweet sister to Ellie. Since Ellie has been sleeping in your room, she is even happier when she wakes up in the morning. Thank you for always singing her songs and talking to her before she even gets out of bed. She loves having you to play with. Ellie is a lucky girl to have you as a sister.

It makes me so happy that you love Dalin so much. Did you know that you two have been best friends since you were a tiny baby? He always wanted to hold you and play with you. I think you guys will be best friends forever. Maybe you can live next door to each other when you are big. How does that sound?

I love you Miss Jazzi. I think you are the cat’s meow. You make me happy. I have had the very best time being your mom. Seven years old is AWESOME! I am so proud of you. You have been a super star this year in school. You are learning so many great things. You are a fantastic friend, sister, and daughter. I love you baby girl.

I hope you have the very best birthday ever. Let’s go shopping!

Love mom.

19 Comments »

26 May

Answers to your questions

Posted by Sandi in Random

I definitely got your attention with two of the things from my “I’ve Been” post. Cosmetic Surgery and Moving.

Let me explain.

The surgery is something I’ve been planning to do all along, and you have all known about it. If you don’t know about it, you are a newbie to this blog, or you have been sleeping in class.

I am getting silicone implants to replace my saline ones. Along with that, I am getting them lifted back up to the spot on my chest they are supposed to be and also getting a very tiny tummy tuck while I’m there. None of this should be surprising to any of you.

My boobs have been a constant source of complaint. Don’t get me wrong, I love them because they are boobs. I love the way they look when I am holding still. I love the size. I love the shape. BUT I hate the feel and I hate the way they look in motion. Because I am so tiny, you can see the pucker and the ripple of the saline in my boobs. Not cute! Even in my bikini, when I lift up my arms my boobs ripple like a wave, and they feel like water balloons. I believe if I had the balls to do it, that I could squeeze them hard enough that they would pop.

I am going to schedule the surgery soon, this summer for sure. I am waiting for Shaylee to come home and help Brandon take care of me. That, and she made me promise her, the next time I had surgery, that I would wait for her to be here since I am a constant source of entertainment while on narcotics.

On to the next topic.

We are going to be moving. From the outside looking in we are in the perfect house. We have lots of space and lots of yard and what more could we possibly want or need? I’ll tell you. We need a house that has a main bathroom. This seems like a no brainer to most. Homes in this area have main bathrooms, but they don’t have tubs or showers in them. They are powder-rooms. I need a main bathroom so I can bathe and shower the kids that don’t have bathrooms in their rooms.

In this house, there are five “real” bedrooms.

The master

Hunter and Jayden’s room

Hadley’s room

Parker’s room

and the girls room.

Jace, Ty, Colby, Pickle and Dalin all are in rooms that weren’t built to be bedrooms. Those kids don’t have a bathroom, and that means I am sharing mine, which I don’t mind, but Dalin is 72 pounds and I am lifting him, everyday, in and out of my tub. It’s getting harder and harder. He isn’t stable enough on his feet to stand in the shower and it’s hard to shower him, anyway, without being in the shower with him. So, for Dalin, a tub is necessary.

When we look for homes, we look first for square footage. We have to have at least 6,000. Then we look at bedrooms, or spaces that could be used as bedrooms, and we look at bathrooms, Is there enough and is there a main tub or shower. Then we look at living space. We don’t need a bar in every room because we don’t drink or entertain. We don’t need a wine cellar or a butlers pantry. We just need space. Finding a home that fits all of these needs and wants is almost impossible in this area, BUT we found one!

It is the most gorgeous home I have ever seen and it fits all of our needs and all of us! It is right up the street and I think we are going to make an offer on it in the next few weeks. I am trying not to bounce of the walls and get my hopes way up, but it looks VERY PROMISING. Now Brandon just needs to make some money. GO BRANDON!

I hope you all feel sufficiently clued in, and up to date. Tomorrow is Jasmine’s Birthday. She is looking very forward to her birthday post. I am leaving Thursday for the bawl-fest/Bronson’s Graduation. I can’t wait! I haven’t seen him since January. I am missing my boy. Between packing, and panicking about leaving, I have tons to do. I am going to try and put a few posts together before I go so I don’t lose you all while I am gone.

Happy Tuesday Friends!

14 Comments »

25 May

Happy Birthday Shaylee Nicole

Posted by Sandi in Shaylee, birthday

Oh baby girl-

I can’t believe seventeen years have passed in the blink of an eye. It honestly seems like yesterday I was seventeen. And I might add, that at seventeen, I felt as adult as I do today. So, congratulations, you have reached adulthood. That blows my mind.

You were born on Memorial Day, so this birthday is extra special. I was so grateful that it was a holiday so Grandma Pam could tend Bronson while I was in the hospital having you. Unfortunately, Aunt Ali had the chicken pox and Bronson broke out in the pox the day I brought you home. What a sweet big brother he was. “Welcome baby sister. Here, have some chicken pox,” and you did, at twelve days old. I’m sorry. I have never been able to protect you from him. That was some serious foreshadowing.

You made your debut six weeks early. I was so excited to have a baby girl. You made my dreams come true. I’m sure you know, I had been dreaming of you, and planning for you, since I was fourteen years old. Thanks for finally getting here.

You have been a joy to raise. Your personality has been bursting through your face since moment one. You were a sassy little thing from the get-go. You used to tell people “You no look at me, I a princess.” By the time you were two, I was making an appointment to get my tubes tied. You and Brons, together, ran me ragged. He would hold the stool, while you climbed it, to reach things I didn’t want you reaching. You two were my very first destructive duo. Congrats on living through that time period. It helped me prepare for Hunter.

By four and half you were my right hand man. NOW, I could have as many babies as I wanted to, because mothering was instinctive to you and you loved to help me. I think you were making bottles and changing diapers at five. Thank you for all the parenting you have done with me. When I tell you that you will be a fantastic mother, I truly mean it. Your babies are lucky little things. I can’t wait to see you in action.

I know in the past my birthday letters have been full of advice, but at this point, you’ve memorized it all and no longer need to hear it. From here on out, it’s all about choices. You know how to choose the right, so all you need to know now is which right to choose. Life isn’t black and white. There are plenty of choices and decisions that will have multiple correct answers. So my only advice to you is to follow your heart. If it feels good, do it. Just trust your gut. It won’t lead you the wrong way.

Sheesh, I am so freakin’ proud of you and the choices that you have made to date. Daring to follow in your brother’s footsteps is not easy and I know that he is a tough act to follow. The fact that you dared to pursue the same goals and dreams that he did says everything there is to say about your spirit. You are courageous, brave, ambitious, and bold. You can do anything you set your mind to, and I hope you have already proven that to yourself.

Don’t stop reaching for the stars. Keep pushing yourself to do the things that you dream to do. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t, and if they do, prove them wrong. You are amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are the best sister, the best friend and the best daughter. It is an honor to call you mine. I have loved every second being your mom. You make me happy!

I’m sure I have screwed up in a hundred and two ways. Thank you for being so forgiving of me when I make colossal mistakes. I promise you, I am not done making them. But I am always trying to be the very best mom there is. I hope you know that. You are a treasure to me and I want nothing more than for you to be my friend for the rest of forever. I think you are the worlds greatest.

Happy Birthday sweetheart! Have a perfect day. I love you.

16 Comments »