One more pose from the family picture adventure.
We finally got them from the photographer.
They turned out PERFECT!
It was worth it.
Archive for January, 2009
Ty entered a contest back in the fall to win an autographed football jersey from the orthodontist office.
They called last week to tell me he had won.
I was so excited.
When Ty was filling out the form to enter,
He told me over and over that he was going to win.
I kept explaining that lots of kids had entered the contest and maybe somebody else would be the winner.
I was wrong.
Ty’s name was drawn and I couldn’t have been happier for him.
Brandon and I told him when he came home from school that Dr Meeks had called and wanted to look at his teeth.
He had no idea what was about to happen.
This picture says it all.
Dr. Meeks is asking Ty if he remembered entering the contest.
Ty lights up!
He said over and over.
“I won.”
“I won!”
” I won huh dad?”
Yes. You. Did.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the office, or the waiting room.
I can’t think of a better kid for this to happen to.
He is still on cloud nine.
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Jazzi’s hair-do
Take down
After the perm and hot comb
She is ready to get braided up.
This girl has amazing hair!
Finished product.
5 1/2 hours later.
Jazzi’s hair do will last 3-4 months.
Thank HEAVENS!
28
Jan
Tulane Shmoolane
Bronson called me yesterday. I was shocked too. I’ll wait for all of you to catch your breath.
He called to tell me he wasn’t coming home for spring break. He is going on a road trip with his friends to see a few more colleges. It was my understanding that he had made his decision regarding where he was attending. I thought he was going to Elon. BUT he also got accepted to Tulane, in New Orleans, and he wants to check it out.
Can I vent to you all for minute? I am not a big fan of New Orleans. There is all sorts of shit to get into there. I will have to start watching the hurricanes more closely, and sweating about evacuations and whether or not he is smart enough to listen to them. When you grow up in Utah and Southern California, you have no reason to fear the weather. That makes me nervous. And what am I going to do about Mardi Gras?
Tulane is a much bigger and more populated university. While this isn’t good or bad, he just made it so clear in his college searches that he wanted a SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE. Tulane doesn’t fit that criterion. Tulane contacted Bronson, not the other way around. They sought him out and made applying very easy. “Just hit the submit button. You don’t even have to pay an application fee.” So the sucker hit the submit button and now he isn’t even coming home for break. THANKS a HELL of a lot TULANE!
I am sure upon this posting Bronson will contact Tulane with an acceptance letter. He just likes to remain in the center of my brain and if he thinks I will worry more about him there, that’s where he will go.
I know he will succeed anywhere he goes. Brandon just reminded me that Bronson wants to be a “Stay at home DAD!” I am pretty sure he will be equally successful pursuing this dream from any college.
Most days, I hate to admit, the automatic answer is “NO.” I am not sure if every parent finds themselves doing this same thing. I hear the question but I never really stop to think about it. I just say,”NO!” On plenty of occasions I change the answer before they even have a chance to say “But why?” or my favorite “How come?” I think my default is just set on “NO.”
I am trying to work on this, and believe me, I have a hundred times per day to practice. I wish I could tell you that was an exaggeration. I also wish I could tell you I was getting better at saying “yes.”
Colby has been sitting here bugging me about holding Ellie. I have been telling him “No” all night long. He gets distracted and goes off to play and 3 or 4 minutes later he is here again, in my space, wanting to hold the baby. ”No” is the answer again and again. I bet we do this five times.
Finally, I stop trying to write and ask him why he wants to hold her when he can see her and play with her and talk to her right here. I explain to him when he is holding her, he can’t see her face and make her smile. I am praying this is enough to convince him. He answers, “I want to hold her because I never have before.”
This isn’t entirely true. When the babies are brand new all the kids hold them on the couch with pillows under their arms, and they do this often. As the babies get bigger, and heavier, and go through the stage where they flip their heads backwards, I don’t let the little ones hold them anymore. The big kids are pro’s and know how to hold the kids at any weight or age.
Colby is a different story. He has very little strength in his hands. This is a result of his prematurity and a brain hemorrhage at birth. Tonight, Colby doesn’t want to just sit in the chair and hold her. He wants to stand up and hold her like I do, “because [he] knows [he] can and [he] is old enough.” What can I say to that?
Ellie is a moose and a half and I know he doesn’t have the strength do it. Against my better judgement, and with camera in hand, I hand Ellie to Colby and take five quick pictures. I have posted number 1 and number 5. These were taken within 20 seconds. Look at the absolute joy on his face. He is so excited and proud of himself.
The smile is fading and so is Ellie. Look how far down his body she has slid. He can feel it too, so I snap, drop and grab. Ellie is fine. Colby is over the moon! 
My risky parenting has given me five precious pictures. But the smile on Colby’s face is worth a hundred times that. He is walking a little taller tonight, with a bit more confidence and even I think he looks a little stronger.
25
Jan
We are family
My five-year-old daughter Pickle is attacking me. She is five in real time. In Pickle time she is seventeen months old. She is scratching my chair, tugging on the mouse and hitting my hand off the keyboard, in an attempt to get my attention. If I want to write, I have to do it when Pickle is in bed.
Pickle is one of the many characters that make up the cast of my family. She is extremely special needs and requires full time patience and a big sense of humor.
Today we fished her out (alive, thank God) of the neighbor’s fountain in shoulder deep water. Did I mention it’s January? Did I mention we have “Pickle proofed” this house so incidents like this don’t happen? When ten minutes went by and the house seemed eerily quiet and peaceful, I asked “Where’s Pickle?” Those two words strike the fear of God in the hearts of this family. We react fast. Eight children and two parents run as fast as possible in different directions, scouring the house, the yard and the neighborhood. Some kids search the bedrooms, and under beds, in showers, in nooks and crannies. Others search the pantry, the backyard, and the garage. Some kids run up the street, others run down the street. Collectively we are an intelligent, well-practiced operation. We do this often and, to date, have recovered unharmed, our sister and daughter 100% of the time! I shutter to think about the time we are unsuccessful or too late.
Having a child with disabilities is an entirely different ball game than just parenting. For some, it is overwhelming, for others it is challenging. For us, it just ‘is’. You see Pickle isn’t the only character in the cast with special needs. Her needs may shine the brightest, but she isn’t alone in her ride to school on the short bus. Half of her siblings accompany her.
They don’t all go to the same school. In fact, we generously provide students to six different schools in the Orange County area. Since their needs and ages are all vastly different I don’t know why I am so surprised that it takes six schools and five buses to serve them. That’s the nature of the beast.
We have fourteen total children and while they aren’t all special needs by societies standards, they all have special needs by mine.
I am sure you have quickly added me to this special needs list as well. I’ll take it.
I did this on purpose. I wanted this army of people to call my own. I wanted this colorful and challenging group of people to belong in my family. My life is far from glamorous. It is filled with temper tantrums and sibling squabbles. It is covered with snot and occasionally poop. It is mine and I don’t want it any other way. Because between the poop flying days and snot sucking nights there is bliss, contentment, and joy. The rewards are great. Not ‘my child is going to college on a full ride scholarship’ great. More like, ‘Pickle pushed her hand through her sleeve this morning’ great. She learned the movement; she anticipated the next step and pushed! This is worth having a diet coke and calling daddy over. These are the rewards I am talking about. They come often at times, and at other times it feels like years go by before progress, even that tiny, is seen.
My family is unique. We don’t all match on the outside, but we match well on the inside. That is where it counts. We have different strengths and weaknesses. We strive to blend into society, but smile when we don’t. We enjoy being special. We have blessings we hold dear, and secrets we treasure. We all have a story. Our combined stories make a fabulous tale.
It’s a cold and dreary day today.
So Cal is experiencing a cold front
it is raining and miserable
and I wish I were at
THE BEACH!
So I went through my beach file
and found some of my favorites to post today
ENJOY.
24
Jan
TV update
I have submitted our family profile to two different producers.
I am waiting to hear back from one of them, or both.
On Monday I am going to actively seek an agent.
Here are my thoughts on an agent. I want to keep a bit of control over this. I don’t want this to turn into a negative, poorly done, nightmare. I want this to be an honest, well produced, series. I want it to reflect the dynamics of us. The positives of parenting kids with Special needs, the joys and heartache of adoption, the issues of blended families, the challenges and rewards of large families. Most importantly, I want it to be REAL!
Brandon and I went out last night and compiled a list of things that viewers would want to see and that we would be willing to share. There is very little that we wouldn’t be willing to share. Obviously, if you are reading this blog you know that.
We have decided to actively pursue this. Are we crazy? Yes! If we weren’t we wouldn’t belong on TV. Is there a possibility that we aren’t crazy enough to be on TV? Yes, I think so, but Brandon disagrees. He can remember life before this family, so I think he may have a clearer view of this than me. But I am trying to remain very realistic.
Am I going after this for the money? No.
For the fame? No.
For my kids? Maybe.
I am going after this because I have been told 100 times to do it. I think the time is now and I want the opportunities that will come from doing this for the kids. My greatest hope is that Ty will get to meet Eli Manning! If I can set up an Eli Manning meeting without being on TV, I may give this all up.
For now, it has become a fun fantasy for the whole family, including Hadley. She had decided last night that if we wouldn’t drop her on her head and make her special needs like the rest of the kids, she was going to wear a mask like Michael Jackson. She had all of us laughing so hard. Hadley is comedy! She flat out refused to embarrass herself on camera. She doesn’t care if we are on TV and she is proud to claim us, she just doesn’t want to act like a fool on TV. That is until I told her I would pay her to do it.
She perks up, “How much?”
I said, “I don’t know, maybe I will give you $100 for every episode that you appear on.”
Her tune changed, she lit up like a light bulb and with a smile bigger than ever, said, “DEAL! When do we start?”
I cannot tell you how many people, in the past five years, have said, “You need your own reality show or you need to write a book.”
Can I choose?
I choose TV.
I have no time to write a book and zero credentials to have a book published.
So, where do I sign up for a TV show? I don’t care if I have to walk around without makeup in my underwear; it’s easier than finding a publisher.
I know TLC already has a few family shows BUT-
We have real life issues, real life tempers, ex spouses, we are a multi racial family, adopted kids, kids with special needs, and behavior problems. Who doesn’t want to watch that circus everyday? We have marital problems, estranged families, kids going to college, we are running a stressful business in the worst of times. We have hilarious children, and I want more! Doesn’t this make for good prime time?
Which one of you readers wants to be my agent?
Get some cameras over here!
I’m guessing by now all of our Facebook friends have noticed that we, as in Brandon and I, are no longer there.
Facebook was created by the Devil. I am convinced of this. It was going to be the cause of our divorce. Yeah, I know, something always is going to cause our divorce, and it’s always something different. I KNOW! Who cares? What I am trying to tell you is that we have decided to save our marriage from the Devil, disguised as a social networking site.
We have zero trust in each other because we both know we are both cheaters. We have both walked out on previous spouses and NEITHER of us can forget it! I know we need counseling. Don’t waste your comment telling me something we already know.
Facebook was becoming addicting for both of us. Why do I care what people I haven’t seen or talked to for twenty years are doing right at this moment? WHY? I have no freakin’ idea. But that didn’t stop me from sitting down at the computer a hundred times a day to see.
Brandon was even worse than me. Granted, he sits at the computer all day because he likes to pretend he is working work, and because he has to read ESPN a hundred times a day incase someone out there said something new about a game that has already been played. So, he found himself on Facebook more than he wanted to be in trouble for be.
We deactivated our accounts. They are both still there of course, looming in the shadows. All of our friends are still there and waiting for us to return. Facebook has made returning very easy, “just log in and we will send you an email, in a split second, welcoming you back.” For people that truly have an addiction, this is unbelievable! Thank God I am stronger than most.
But maybe I should just log in long enough to say goodbye to a few people,…
I should let Bronson and Shaylee know I am gone, and my Mom…. Oh my Hell, my mom will die.
FACEBOOK, I HATE YOU! Leave me alone!
Anyway, this is a stress; it will always be a stress. We are learning together what does and does not work in our marriage. For the most part, we agree on what these things are. Sometimes we do not. FACEBOOK? Thank God we agree!
Hasta La Vista Baby
On the way home from school yesterday Hunter tells me about a kid in his school that watches Saturday Night Live. Hunter doesn’t agree with this.
Hunter tells this kid that he shouldn’t be watching a show like that because it is full of sexual innuendos and other bad stuff.
This kid tells Hunter he has never seen anything bad on SNL. (Remember, Hunter goes to a school for autistic adolescence.)
Hunter asks the kid if he has seen the song called, ‘I jizzed in my pants’?
This kid wants to know why that’s bad, what does Jizzed mean. (at this moment I know what’s coming, but I am praying like Hell I am not going to hear it.)
I enter the conversation here. “Please tell me you didn’t tell him.”
“Mom, I had to, he needs to know what he is watching, and do you know how many terms there are for that? There are so many that people can’t even memorize them all.”
Lord, help me! And, to this unnamed child’s mother.
I AM SO SORRY!