TOP QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT OUR FAMILY-
Are they related?
We get this one a lot. ”They are related now” is the correct answer. But they are not biologically related. All were adopted as newborns from all over the US.
How many adopted?
We have ten adopted kids. I have four homegrown.
How many boys/girls?
This question always stops us and we have to count. The number is ever changing and we can never seem to remember. I counted today, so I know. 8 boys and 6 girls.
How many with special needs?
We have six kids with special needs. Some severe, and some with learning differences and behavior problems.
Hunter has Aspergers, ADHD, OCD and out of this world anxiety.
Tylon has Trisomy 9p.
Jayden had a brain injury at birth. This has resulted in behavior problems: ODD, anger management and significant learning delays
Colby and Dalin were both 24 week micro-preemies.
Colby suffered a grade II brain hemorrhage. It has affected his fine motor skills and academic learning.
Dalin was born crack addicted on top of being a 24 weeker. He has Cerebral palsy and significant delays as well.
Pickle is undiagnosed, and she is the most special needs of all. She was much like Ty in the beginning. She was very medically fragile. Today she is healthy, but TOTAL Special ED!
Where did they come from?
In order minus the bio’s: Utah, Indiana, Illinois, Washington, Alabama, Alabama, Utah, Virginia, Mississippi, and Texas.
How do you remember all their names?
Can you believe people actually ask this? It cracks me up. I am sure they can remember all their children’s names and cousins and relatives. This seems the dumbest question of all. Of course we know and remember all their names. WE NAMED THEM.
How do you stay so calm?
Do I sound calm? I am glad I have this blog to freak out on so I can appear calm in the real world. You all know me better than anyone I meet on the street. You can all attest to the fact that I am not sane.
How do you feed that many/What is a typical meal?
This is another crazy question to us. We feed this many the same way we feed two or three. You make dinner and feed them. We just make bigger portions. Brandon does the cooking, I do the laundry. If Brandon wants to cook, more power to him. If Brandon doesn’t cook, we are going out, or phoning in a delivery: Chinese food, Pizza, Taco Tuesday, McDonalds….. Anything is better than me having to cook. I HATE to cook. I hate it! I have to cook when the big kids are home because they beg me to. They want the food they grew up with. So they come home from school and give me their puppy dog face and I have to make Sour Cream Lasagna, Spanish Rice, Yellow Chicken, Spaghetti and Beef stew. If they used to eat it, they want it again.
I did a post a while back that will give a sense of the amount of food and other trivial stuff. You can see it here.
What do you drive?
We drive a 15 passenger van. Brandon calls it the prison vehicle. He feels like he is transporting inmates. We only drive it when we go to the beach or Disneyland. When we are around town, we take two SUV’s because Hadley is embarrassed to be seen in the Van.
This was taken yesterday on our way to the beach. Count the kids. Go ahead, I ‘ll wait……Yeah I’m missing one. We took the pictures and noticed while we were loading up that Pickle wasn’t with us. This is exactly why I don’t get mother of the year nominations. I don’t always know where they all are.
Do you all go out at the same time?
Yes, of course. We do dinner out about once a week. Our favorite places to go as a family/parade is Sizzler and Ichibiri’s.
At Sizzler, the kids go nuts at the Salad bar. We also enjoy terrorizing the elderly that frequent Sizzler. They damn near have a heart attack when all ten kids go running towards the salad bar. It looks as if they haven’t been fed for weeks. They are throwing elbows and fighting over the salad tongs. A fight always breaks out over the last chicken bone, or the last square of jello. It is priceless. This is one of the benefits of being a different race than the kids. I can sit back and pretend they are NOT mine. I watch as the elderly scan the restaurant for the heathen’s parents. I pretend I am looking for them too.
Ichibiri’s is a Japanese steak house. I love it because the food is cut up and just the way the kids want. Since it is cooked right in front of them. They can say, “yes or no” to rice, veggies, teriyaki sauce, or whatever. I never have to hear, ”That’s not what I wanted.” It is also fabulous food. We may have to go there tonight.
We go to the beach often. We are locals at Newport. The kids are well known at “Beach Burger”. We drop the cash at the counter on the way to the sand and the kids spend all day going from the water to the Burger joint. The owner knows my kids and knows my rules. We love NEWPORT BEACH!
How big is your house? How many rooms?
Our house is 6000 sq feet. It was the best we could do in SoCal. It was not easy to find a place that would work for us. But we did. In Orange County you can find big, but these homes are built for rich couples that entertain, not large families. We had to turn a storage room, a family room and an office all into bedrooms. That still leaves us three family rooms and a huge backyard to play in. The rest of the house is the kid’s rooms. Hadley has her own room. Everybody else shares with a sibling.
Do they all get along?
They are siblings…….They are best friends one minute and worst enemies the next. Since they all joined our family as babies, it is no different than adding a bio child to the equation. They are siblings, simple as that.
How do you afford it?
Brandon would like me to solicit donations with this question. I have attached a pay-pal link to make it easy for you to help us….. Just kidding. Brandon has been working in Nigeria for the past three years trading crude oil. We have been blessed. It isn’t always easy, but we have sufficient for our needs.
Are you Mormon?
YES of course we are Mormon. Who else thinks it is OK to act this crazy and have this many kids? In all seriousness, I was raised in the church and have practiced the religion most of my adult life. I am not currently active and after the prop 8 saga may never return, (You can read more about my rants here.) but time will tell.
It is NOT easy to take this crew to church for three hours. I am currently looking into a Mormon church that believes in one hour programs, that includes a ball pit for the kids to play in, and diet coke and refreshments for the parents.
Is this a yours, mine, and ours situation?
Yes and No. I share eleven kids with my Ex. Brandon and I together have three. That equals fourteen. If we add his four from his first marriage to the equation we have eighteen. BUT we are not raising his kids, or parenting them. His ex has full custody and they only come down a few times a year to visit. So I don’t count them in the number. This is a touchy subject and we deal with it a lot. For those of you that say, “you must have a heart of gold, you’re capacity to love is amazing…….” Just come on over and hang out with me when the step kids are here. I struggle. I am trying. I think I will spend the rest of my life trying. Please don’t leave mean comments about this on here. I have shut down my blog before because of some judgmental-mean-ass haters. In fact, I got lambasted with so many horrible emails from one disgusting individual, that I published them for the world to see in a different blog. I will say this, it stopped the emails.
Do you ever get away alone?
Yes, we live from one sex trip to the next. It is honestly the only way we keep our sanity. We also go out alone at least once a week. That is a must!
Do you have help?
Hell yes! I have had a nanny since September. She is wonderful and I wonder daily how and why I did it without her for so long. Oh yeah…. it’s because I have been scarred for life by my previous nanny, who decided to marry my ex. That definitely made me leery of nannies. It took a lot of time to get over it. I am happy to say that I am doing better.
Why did you move to California?
To get away from my previous nanny who decided to marry my ex. AND of course Brandon and I both have an Ex we didn’t love living near. AND because I hate the cold and the snow, and I felt Utah was too small of a place to live in after a divorce. I wanted a fresh start and sunny weather.
Last but not least ARE WE DONE?
hmmmmm…..Today? Yes! I am done for sure! Tomorrow could be a different story. I always know when a baby is coming. I feel it in my bones. I am not feeling like anyone is missing. I am not looking for a baby. But I hate to close the door in case one comes along that needs a family.
Brandon and I still may pursue IVF again, but the Hell I go through to get nothing is stressful. I have learned one thing through the years. ”Never say Never.”
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and family. You have a beautiful family! I admire your strength and determination to raise a family that large!
Sandi,
I can’t imagine having Newport Beach right there – how bad could your day really ever get knowing you could be in heaven in a few minutes??? I used to want twelve children, reading that blog, it kinda sounds fun again but my children will wake up in about 45 min. and I think I will be just fine with three again. Thanks for sharing your life with all. I love and miss ya. One more thing anyone who wants to say anything about being a step-parent sure as hell better have been one before.
Love,
Shan
Ok, that helps. If I had a nanny, and didn’t have to cook, I could… maybe…do more kids…maybe. I was feeling pretty lousy for my selfishness before that post. Thanks. Not that it’s about me, but you know, it always is.
My sister just did her 5th round of IVF, and she’s pregnant with twins btw. But it IS hell to go through, and I’m not sure I could do it once, let alone twice.
Have these falling gas prices affected your business, and does Brandon actually GO to Nigeria for long periods of time?
I still think it is amazing, Nanny or not! We are thinking of having our first and that is daunting to me…..
@ chris. You are welcome. Do I know you, are you new to my blog and my life? Without a profile to click on I don’t even know if you are male or female. Not that it matters, but introduce yourself, I would love to meet you.
@shana. I miss you and love you too. I know better than to say “those were the good old days.” But they were weren’t they? I didn’t think I would survive my mother or yours! I always thought you would be just like me. popping out a dozen kids……. Yes Newport is my sanity! The beach is healing, refreshing and soothing to me. I crave it and I love it. I know how lucky I am to have it.
@Kristen. I am so excited to have you reading and commenting. YEA! Thanks for sluffing laundry day to hang with me. I promise the nanny is the only reason we adopted Ellie We were at the limit. and IVF sucks. We have done it twice before. It is all consuming. add three bio chemical pregnancies to two failed IVF’s and you know why I stick to adoption. The price of Gas, high or low, doesn’t make a difference to us. Brandon has spent 2 months in Nigeria, and is preparing to go back at year end. BELIEVE me you will all know it when he leaves! I HATE IT. It scares me to death.
@julie-It is the greatest adventure of life. I am so happy for you! Thanks for always visiting and commenting. I love hearing from all of you!:)
OMG – I thoroughly enjoyed this post – thanks so much for sharing with us!! You may say that you’re not Mother of the Year – but you are STILL. An AMAZING mom.
P.S. I was literally LOL when I got to the part about alone time!
Wow–thank you for all that Sandi! That was great! I’m in awe of your terrific family!
And I totally know that feeling of “someone is missing” but my husband doesn’t want anymore. What to do…?
OMG–I can’t believe your ex ran off w/ the nanny–total soap opera stuff!
Also–I love your kids’ names!!
@mammadawg. Thanks for the nice comment and for leaving your incredible busy and fabulous blog to say Hi to me! I am only “amazing” on blog. I have worked hard to create this illusion!
@ Jennifer. I am still loving that we both have a Pickle! How cool is that? Does your Pickle have a given name, or is she Pickle on paper? My Mother cringes at the name, She goes on and on about what a beautiful name she really has…How can we call her something so funny? answer- It’s who she is.
I hope your husband gives in if there is a missing one. That is not a regret I ever want to have. It scares me.
FINALLY as much as I want you to blame the Ex for running off with the nanny, I have to clarify that I kicked him out first, Only after that did he find comfort in the 22 year old nanny’s arms. I blame her first! He can share any left over. I am trying to move on. I really am!
Thanks for your kind words! Go blog, I am ready for a new post at the The Fun House!
Sandi -
Thank you so much for your comments on my blog about prop 8. I completely appreciate listening to opposing views, I just want then to be done in a civil manner. I am amazed the more I learn about your family. You seriously have a gift with your kids. Hope you don’t mind if I keep reading – because I love hearing what you have to say.
Kristen
Wow, wow. I say it every time that I come to your blog. I’m completely taken aback. You are an angel, yes, don’t be modest – you are. Unreal about your ex, and your ex-nanny, some people! I hope that happinesss overflows in your future with your gorgeous family. Amazing. You might consider doing a post for Kelly over at The Neurotic Mom http://theneuroticmom.blogspot.com, she is featuring neurotic Moms, not that you are! lol but I’m sure you’ve had your moments. Cheers to you.
I’m so glad you did this…it was great having our curiosity satisfied. I still stand in awe of anyone who can do this. I know myself and my lack of patience would make this impossible. I’m glad there are strong people like you to love these kids and give them a happy home. God Bless you both!
love it all!
I’m giving you an award Sandi, because I think you’re so great. You’re blog has got to be on eof the most creative, as it tells such an amazing story, I think you should write a book! Come on over, and grab your award http://sexdiariesofamom.blogspot.com
You forgot to mention you best nanny ever!
Fun post!
I’m so happy I found your blog . . . you INSPIRE ME! Oh, and next year when we’re in Newport I’m keeping my eyes open for you guys (I figure you won’t be hard to miss
.
*waves*
Amongst other things the kids and I have all had some sort of cold/flu thing which has practically knocked us out for a week. I could never stay away for long though ;o)
Hello, hello….I’m here, I promise
This entry was great, I feel like I know the logistics of your family so much better now. Oooh, and Inoticed that there are a few more of your entries for me to catch up on(hurrah!), so I plan to sit down with a LARGE glass of red wine tonight, and read my little heart out!
Lots of love to you Sandi!
Hi! I’m an editor at Blog Nosh Magazine (www.blognosh.com), and one of my fellow editors pointed me to your blog, knowing I was on the hunt for great writers who blog about the topic of adoption.
I’ve waded into your blog up to my knees so far, and I love it. I’d really like to talk to you about publishing on Blog Nosh. If you’re interested, drop me a line:
missivesfromsuburbia at gmail.com
Wow, what a fun blog to read! I love your sense of humor and your dedication to your beautiful family! Thanks for sharing.
Dear Sandi,
It’s a good thing I’m sitting in my studio on the top of this little mountain, because I have literally laughed out LOUD reading your wonderful blog! ooops, I forgot I had the windows open…
I’m a Mom of three grown children…2 sons and 1 daughter…and the grandmom of 6 phenomenal (of course) grandchildren. The 6 includes a beautiful little Peruvian darlin’ who will soon be 3 years old. They’ve had her since birth. My daughter and her husband are in the midst of adopting twins (they’re hopeful for twins) from Ethiopia. I’ll have to tell her about your blog…she’ll love it.
Blessings and joy to you and yours,
Dianne